stuck in a situationship! help!
Dear Living Revive Team,
I’ve been in this situationship for way too long, and I honestly feel stuck. It’s been months—probably over a year by now—and even though we’re not officially together, it feels like we are in a lot of ways. We talk all the time, we spend time together, and there’s a real connection between us. But whenever I try to talk about what this actually is or where it’s going, they either change the subject or give me some vague answer that leaves me just as confused.
I care about this person a lot. I don’t want to come off as needy or push them away by asking for more than they’re ready to give—but at the same time, I feel like I deserve clarity. I’m tired of constantly wondering where I stand. It’s hard, because part of me is still holding on to the hope that it could turn into something real. But the other part of me is starting to wonder if I’m just holding on to something that’s never going to change.
The idea of walking away feels really painful, especially after investing so much emotionally. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s best for me, but I keep going in circles. Do I give it more time and hope they come around, or do I finally accept that I might not get the kind of relationship I’m looking for with them?
I don’t want to feel like I’ve thrown something meaningful away—but I also don’t want to keep settling for something that leaves me feeling uncertain and unseen.
How do I figure out when it’s time to let go?
Sincerely,
Stuck in a Situationship
Dear Stuck in a Situationship,
Let me just say—you’re not alone in this. Situationships are so tricky because they’re filled with all these mixed signals that leave you constantly wondering, “Where do we even stand?” And the fact that you’ve stuck it out this long just shows how much you care about this person. But let me tell you something you might need to hear: caring about someone isn’t enough if they’re not meeting you halfway.
From what you’re saying, it sounds like you’ve been incredibly patient and have done everything you can to make this work. But relationships—real, healthy ones—are about partnership. That means mutual effort, clear communication, and a shared vision for where things are going. If you’re the only one putting in the emotional labor to define the relationship, that’s a one-sided dynamic, and that’s not fair to you.
I get it—you don’t want to seem like you’re being “too much.” But asking for clarity or commitment isn’t being extra. It’s being honest about your needs. You’re not asking for the moon here; you’re asking for a basic level of respect and communication. And if someone can’t give you that after months (or a year!) of being in this situationship, then it’s worth asking yourself why you’re holding on.
Sometimes we stay in situations like this because it’s comfortable. You’ve built a connection, you care deeply about them, and the idea of leaving feels scary or painful. But comfort isn’t the same as happiness, and being stuck in a gray area can quietly drain you over time. Your feelings, your needs, and your time are all incredibly valuable, and you deserve someone who sees that and steps up.
Here’s what I’d recommend: have one final, direct conversation with this person. Lay it all out—how you feel, what you need, and where you see this going. Don’t sugarcoat it or dance around the issue. Be honest and clear about what you’re looking for, and let them know that you need an answer. If they still can’t give you a straight response or the commitment you deserve, then it’s time to take a step back and seriously think about letting go.
Walking away is tough, especially when your heart is involved. But staying in a situationship where your needs aren’t being met will only keep you stuck. And trust me, the right person won’t leave you guessing. They’ll make it clear that they want you in their life, and they’ll work to make you feel secure, not confused.
You deserve someone who treats you like a priority, not an option. Letting go might feel like losing something now, but it’s actually creating space for the love, clarity, and respect you truly deserve.
Rooting for you!
-The Living Revive Team