Dear Lost & Overwhelmed,

First off, I just want to remind you that you're definitely not alone in this. So many of us have been right where you are, and it’s totally normal for this to take time to work through. People-pleasing can feel like a cycle you can’t get out of, but the fact that you’re recognizing it is already a huge step toward reclaiming your peace. It might feel like you’ve lost yourself along the way, but trust me—you can get back to living for you, not everyone else.

You’ve already done the hardest part, which is recognizing the pattern. People-pleasing doesn’t just happen overnight—it’s built from years of trying to make others happy, usually at the expense of your own well-being. But now that you’re aware of it, you can begin to make changes, little by little.

A lot of the time, we say "yes" because we’re afraid of disappointing people, or maybe because we’re looking for approval. It can be hard to shake the idea that your worth is tied to what you do for others. But here’s the truth: your worth is not based on how much you give to people. It’s in who you are, and you are enough just as you are.

So, when you catch yourself about to say “yes” to something you don’t want to do, take a beat. Ask yourself: Why am I agreeing to this? Is it because I genuinely want to help? Or is it because I’m scared of conflict, or seeking validation? Once you can figure out your "why," it becomes easier to make more mindful choices.

I get it—saying “no” is hard. But the good news? It gets easier with practice. Start small. The next time someone asks you for something you’re not up for (or something that drains your energy), try something simple like:

“I can’t this time, but I appreciate you asking.”

It’s not about being harsh—it’s just about respecting your own time and well-being. Every time you say no, you’re giving yourself permission to prioritize yourself.

Setting boundaries can be tough at first, but it’s one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Boundaries don’t make you selfish—they make you human. If someone doesn’t understand or pushes back when you set a limit, that’s about them, not you.

You can also try something like:

“I'm not able to take this on right now, but I hope you understand.”

Keep it clear and calm. Boundaries are there to protect your mental space, and you deserve that.

Make time for the things that fill you up, even if it’s just for a little while. Whether it’s a hobby, a walk, or just watching your favorite show—those small moments of joy are key to remembering who you are outside of being the “helper” or the “nice one.”

And that guilt you’re feeling? It’s real, but it’s also a sign that you’re doing something right. People-pleasing often comes from a deep fear of rejection, but here’s the thing: you don’t have to make everyone else comfortable in order to be loved. You deserve to take up space, as you are.

This journey will take time, but every step you take brings you closer to the person you want to be—someone who values their own needs just as much as they value others. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember: you can say no. You can set boundaries. And you can live a life that’s true to you.

You’ve got this. You’re not losing yourself—you’re finding your way back.

Take care,
The Living Revive Team