no couch, no tears, no thanks

Dear Living Revive Team,

so here’s the thing: i know i probably need therapy. i’ve been stuck in the same anxious-overthinky loop for months, and every person in my life has gently (or not-so-gently) suggested that i “talk to someone.”

but every time i picture myself sitting in a softly lit room, digging through my childhood while some stranger nods at me with concern… i shut down. i’m not trying to be difficult, i just don’t think that version of therapy is for me. it feels weirdly performative, like i’m playing a role or saying what i think i’m supposed to say.

i’m not anti-help. i just don’t want to feel like i have to cry on cue or become an open wound for it to count. are there other options for people like me—people who want to do the work, but maybe… quietly?

Sincerely,
therapy skeptic

Dear Therapy Skeptic,

First off, thank you for writing in with such honesty. You’re clearly self-aware, which is more than half the battle. And let’s just say it plainly: a lot of people talk about “doing the work,” but you’re actually thinking about it and wrestling with what that might look like for you. That’s real.

Now, let’s talk. We hear you—therapy can absolutely feel intimidating, especially with the whole "tell me about your childhood" trope. That dimly lit room, the concerned nodding, the pressure to be some kind of emotional contortionist? Yeah, not everyone vibes with that, and that’s valid. But also, let’s gently challenge something here: therapy isn't a performance unless you make it one.

What you're describing—shutting down, feeling like you have to present a certain version of yourself—sounds like part of the same cycle you say you're stuck in. That "anxious-overthinky" loop? It's keeping you from exploring support that might actually help untangle it. So while it’s okay to have doubts, there’s also a point where self-awareness has to evolve into action. Otherwise, it just becomes another way of avoiding growth.

The good news? Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all anymore (if it ever was). There are so many ways to engage that don’t require you to spill your guts in a candlelit office. Think:

  • Text-based therapy (like BetterHelp or Talkspace) if you’re better with words on screen.

  • Coaching or mental wellness apps if you want something structured without going deep right away.

  • Group therapy if you want to listen and absorb before you share.

  • Somatic work, mindfulness practices, or even journaling as a starting point—these can be therapeutic even if they’re not “therapy.”

But here’s the thing you’ll need to own: discomfort doesn’t always mean something’s wrong. Sometimes, it just means you're getting close to something important. So if every option still feels “too much,” ask yourself—is the issue really the format… or is it the fear of being truly seen?

You don’t need to become an open wound. But you do need to take some kind of step, even a small one. Growth isn’t loud or dramatic; sometimes it’s just quietly choosing not to stay stuck.

Whatever route you choose, make sure it’s moving you forward. Otherwise, you're just orbiting the same problem and calling it contemplation.

You've got this—but only if you actually do something.

With clarity and care,
The Living Revive Team 🌱