Dear Tired of Feeling “Too Much”,

Thank you for sharing this with us. Naming what you’re feeling takes courage, especially when the voice in your head is already questioning whether your emotions are valid. Let’s be clear right away: your feelings are valid. Feeling dismissed—whether intentionally or not—doesn’t just sting in the moment. Over time, it chips away at your sense of self and makes you doubt your own perspective. That’s not “dramatic.” That’s human.

Your friend M sounds like someone who genuinely cares about you, but whose style of support comes across very differently than she probably intends. For some people, keeping things light—throwing out a quick “don’t overthink it” or “you’ll be fine”—feels like encouragement. It’s their way of trying to protect you from sinking deeper into stress. But for you, those same responses land as dismissive, like your emotions are being brushed aside. That gap between intention and impact matters.

Because here’s the truth: when you share what’s on your heart, you’re not always looking for someone to fix it. You’re looking to be heard, validated, and reminded that what you feel is real. When that’s missing, it doesn’t just feel unsatisfying—it leaves you walking away smaller than you came in.

This is where the analogy comes in: you can’t keep going to the circus and be surprised when the clowns perform. M has shown you time and time again how she responds to heavier conversations. If you keep bringing those heavier emotions to her, hoping for a different outcome, you’re setting yourself up for repeated disappointment. That’s not a flaw in you, and it doesn’t make her a villain—it just means she’s not the friend who can meet you in that space.

Think of it this way: if you go to a coffee shop that doesn’t sell bagels, no matter how many times you order one, you’ll never get it. You might get coffee, you might get a muffin, but a bagel isn’t on the menu. Same with M. The kind of listening and validation you’re craving just might not be what she can offer.

Now, that doesn’t mean you have to end the friendship. Friendships are multi-layered, and not every friend is meant to carry every part of you. Some friends are amazing for venting about work. Others are the hype crew when you need a confidence boost. Others are just for laughs, memories, and good vibes. Expecting one person to do it all often leaves both sides frustrated.

That said, you can advocate for yourself with M. You might try something like: “Hey, I know you mean well when you tell me not to overthink, but sometimes I just need you to listen and validate how I’m feeling. That helps me way more than brushing it off.” This isn’t asking her to change her whole personality. It’s giving her a playbook on how to support you in ways that actually land.

If she responds and tries to shift, that’s growth—and it will probably strengthen your friendship. If she doesn’t, that’s clarity. It tells you this friendship is best kept in the lane of loyalty, fun, and lightness rather than your go-to space for heavy emotional processing.

There’s another piece here that’s important: you mentioned feeling like you’re “too much.” That thought often creeps in when we’ve been dismissed repeatedly. But being expressive, reflective, or emotional doesn’t make you “too much.” It makes you human. The truth is, you deserve to be around people who see your openness not as a burden but as a privilege—because it is.

Being mindful of who you bring certain feelings to isn’t the same as silencing yourself. It’s choosing wisely where your voice will be honored. When you start practicing that, you’ll realize it’s not about being “too much.” It’s about making sure you’re not shrinking yourself to fit into spaces that can’t hold you.

Friendships evolve. Some are safe for the heavy stuff, some are better for laughter and loyalty, and some are both. The key is not expecting every friend to play every role, and not blaming yourself when someone can’t meet you in a certain space.

So the next time you feel dismissed, remember the circus analogy. M might always reach for the “keep it light” card, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less real. You’re allowed to expect more from your inner circle. You’re allowed to want friends who remind you that you are not too much—you are exactly enough, and you matter.

Rooting for you,
The Living Revive Team