Stuck in a Situationship for TOO long!

  • Dear Living Revive Team,

    I’m in this situationship that’s been dragging on way too long, and I feel completely stuck. It’s been months—probably over a year at this point—and while we’re not officially dating, we have this deep connection that makes it hard for me to walk away. We talk all the time, hang out, and honestly, it feels like we’re a couple in so many ways. But whenever I try to bring up the conversation about where this is headed or what we are, they either dodge the question or say something vague that doesn’t give me any real clarity.

    I really care about this person, and I don’t want to push them away by being “too much,” but I also feel like I deserve to know where I stand. I don’t want to waste more time if this isn’t going anywhere, but I don’t know how to untangle my feelings or take that next step. It’s just hard to imagine walking away when I’ve invested so much emotionally, and I still want this to work.

    How do I handle this without feeling like I’m throwing everything away? Should I wait longer to see if things change, or is it time to accept that maybe they’re never going to give me the clarity or commitment I need?

    Sincerely,
    Stuck in a Situationship

  • Hey Stuck in a Situationship,

    First off, let me just say—you’re not alone in this. Situationships are so tricky because they’re filled with all these mixed signals that leave you constantly wondering, “Where do we even stand?” And the fact that you’ve stuck it out this long just shows how much you care about this person. But let me tell you something you might need to hear: caring about someone isn’t enough if they’re not meeting you halfway.

    From what you’re saying, it sounds like you’ve been incredibly patient and have done everything you can to make this work. But relationships—real, healthy ones—are about partnership. That means mutual effort, clear communication, and a shared vision for where things are going. If you’re the only one putting in the emotional labor to define the relationship, that’s a one-sided dynamic, and that’s not fair to you.

    I get it—you don’t want to seem like you’re being “too much.” But asking for clarity or commitment isn’t being extra. It’s being honest about your needs. You’re not asking for the moon here; you’re asking for a basic level of respect and communication. And if someone can’t give you that after months (or a year!) of being in this situationship, then it’s worth asking yourself why you’re holding on.

    Sometimes we stay in situations like this because it’s comfortable. You’ve built a connection, you care deeply about them, and the idea of leaving feels scary or painful. But comfort isn’t the same as happiness, and being stuck in a gray area can quietly drain you over time. Your feelings, your needs, and your time are all incredibly valuable, and you deserve someone who sees that and steps up.

    Here’s what I’d recommend: have one final, direct conversation with this person. Lay it all out—how you feel, what you need, and where you see this going. Don’t sugarcoat it or dance around the issue. Be honest and clear about what you’re looking for, and let them know that you need an answer. If they still can’t give you a straight response or the commitment you deserve, then it’s time to take a step back and seriously think about letting go.

    Walking away is tough, especially when your heart is involved. But staying in a situationship where your needs aren’t being met will only keep you stuck. And trust me, the right person won’t leave you guessing. They’ll make it clear that they want you in their life, and they’ll work to make you feel secure, not confused.

    You deserve someone who treats you like a priority, not an option. Letting go might feel like losing something now, but it’s actually creating space for the love, clarity, and respect you truly deserve.

    Rooting for you!