Dear Caught in the Middle,

First of all, I want you to know that what you’re feeling is totally valid. It’s hard enough when family expectations clash with your own dreams, but it can be especially painful when those expectations are rooted in years of sacrifice and hope. Your parents want what they believe is best for you, and I can sense how much you care about them, which is why this situation is so emotionally charged.

The first thing to understand is that it’s okay to want something different from what your parents envisioned for you. It doesn’t mean you love them any less, or that you’re ungrateful. In fact, stepping into a career that aligns with your true passion will likely bring you more fulfillment and happiness in the long run, which will, in turn, benefit your family. But, we also know that change is hard, especially when it involves something as important as family expectations.

Here’s a starting point: have a heart-to-heart with your parents (I know, I know—it’s tough, but hear me out). Approach them with empathy and understanding. Acknowledge the sacrifices they’ve made for you, and express gratitude for everything they’ve done to get you where you are. Let them know you appreciate their dream for you and that you understand the weight of their hopes, but also emphasize that you’re trying to build your own future, one that makes you excited to wake up every day.

Be clear and calm about why this choice matters to you. It might help to show them how passionate you are about your career choice—whether that’s through examples, research, or talking about your vision for the future. Let them see that you’ve thought this through and aren’t making a rash decision. Share your goals, your dreams, and the path you envision, and most importantly, how it aligns with who you are as a person. You don’t have to convince them overnight, but showing them that this decision is rooted in your own happiness and growth can help bridge the gap.

Another key part of this conversation is understanding that your parents’ fears are coming from a place of love, even if their words or actions don’t feel that way. Their worries might stem from the fear of you facing hardships, or from their belief that the path they know is the safest and most successful. They want you to be secure, and they’re projecting their own experiences onto you. It’s important to acknowledge their fears, but also to remind them that you’re still committed to working hard, no matter which career path you choose.

Give them time. Sometimes, initial reactions are strong because of shock or confusion, but with time, they may come to understand that your happiness matters just as much as their dream for you. But know this: you cannot sacrifice your dreams for the sake of others. Your life is yours to live, and while family is important, so is staying true to who you are.

It’s also worth considering finding some middle ground. Are there ways you can incorporate elements of both worlds? Could you pursue a career in something related but still follow your passion? Sometimes compromise is possible, and it can be a good way to ease the transition for your parents while you still work toward your goals.

Lastly, remember that this journey might be a bit lonely at first. There’s no quick fix for situations like this, and it might take time for your parents to fully come around. But in the end, your happiness is paramount. You have to live your life for you, not for anyone else’s expectations. Trust that by being true to yourself, you’re creating a life that will bring you joy, fulfillment, and ultimately, respect from your family—just in a different way than you might expect.

You’ve got this, and we’re cheering you on every step of the way.

XO,
The Living Revive Team